Never Say Never

After much irritation and thought, I decided to volunteer my expertise as a musician to teach the elementary music classes at my children's private school in Switzerland.  Now, why would I do this if:

#1. I don't have a Music Ed. degree
#2. I don't enjoy little kids
#3. I have NO patience
#4. I have NO patience
#5. I have NO patience...

You get the idea.  Here, let me give you a little bit of background on me, for those of you that don't know me very well.  I grew up in a household where my parents were private and public school music teachers.  They still teach private students as well as college students that are studying to be public/private school teachers.  I used to watch my father work with those kids in the classroom and I watched the behaviors of those students and I swore to myself that I would never teach in that situation.  I found that the general student body ranged from being unresponsive to flat out disruptive in class.  It always seemed that there were only a handful of us that actually wanted to be there.  I watched my mother with her private students and it always seemed that only a handful actually put in the work during the week between lessons.  So, when I started my music education in college, I made the decision that I would never teach. 

Never say, "Never".

By my third year in college, my voice teacher had the foresight and wisdom to hire me as a private voice and piano teacher in the community school of music.  I must say that to begin with, I sucked. Like most of us do for the first year.  I didn't even know where to start with teaching voice.  (At least with the piano I had a pretty good idea of pedagogical tools that I inherited from my mother.)  What I lacked in basic vocal pedagogy, I made up for in piano skills and good ears.  That first year was one that I have now forgotten nor do I want to remember it.  I'm sure my impatience with students was enough to turn several of them away from music in general and that is embarrassing and breaks my heart.

But after those first months, I got into a groove.  I learned that I was never going to like teaching piano.  (I think that there has never been a day that I don't remember being able to play therefore I don't remember the feeling of being frustrated over not being able to read music.  This lack of sympathy makes me a poor teacher.)  But I do remember being a beginner in voice.  I remember not knowing what technique to warm up with.  I remember not understanding why I needed to write a word for word translation and I will always feel that I can't make the kind of sounds that my coach is asking for.  I get it.  So I love the joy of bringing a student through that challenge and making them feel like they can really do something beautiful with their voice.

Now here I am, teaching something that I swore I would never teach: elementary music.  And I have to say, that everything that I was avoiding by not putting myself in the situation is happening.  The lack of respect, the unresponsiveness, the goofing off, all of it.  And I really don't like it.  But it's rather interesting, the one thing of all of those that bothers me the absolute most is not the one that I thought would be the problem.  I thought for sure that the lack of respect and the goofing off would drive me up the wall the most.  Not so.  It's the unresponsiveness.  How can I get the couple of children who are not participating in class, who are acting like they are bored, who are basically just taking up space, how can I get them to react? 

Music is an international language.  Everyone speaks it in their hearts.  I teach at a bilingual school.  Learning another language is an everyday activity for these kids. So how can I teach them this brilliant international language? How can I reach their hearts?  What can I do in class that inspires 2nd and 3rd graders and keeps me from losing my cool?  I always play lip service to the importance of music, how it makes everyone feel something, how it is part of the fabric the holds our broken world together.  How can I use this incredible gift to inspire this next generation, help them to feel good about themselves and help them to treat one another in a kind, respectful and most of all, loving manner?

Unfortunately, I just started this part of my journey.  I am still in those first months and I am sure that I will make many mistakes.  But hopefully this time, I won't turn a child off from this beautiful gift.  Hopefully I will find the things that inspire these kids.  I say "hopefully" because I have learned, once again, to never say "Never".